RED HOT CHILLI PIPERS ABC1, Glasgow, January 25 (NO STARS)

January 28, 2011

If music is the food of love, and let’s say we know this for a fact, then the Red Hot Chilli Pipers are a deep-fried Mars Bar – like the infamous Scottish dish, the Chilli Pipers are a novelty that’s hard to stomach.

At times surreal, constantly laughable, tonight’s two-hour show had to be seen to be disbelieved. From the black fashion kilts to the awkward choreography, the bouts of tartan techno to the choice of songs, no element of tonight’s arduous ordeal did anything to further the cause of Scottish music.

In their matching outfits and with their choreographed moves, which consisted primarily of pointing and swaying, the core pipers often looked like they were auditioning for a part in a Scottish version of the Full Monty.

Safe covers like Clocks, Chasing Cars, Everybody Dance Now and a medley of Rocking All Over The World and Eye Of The Tiger didn’t help matters either. Neither did the difficulty of keeping a strangled cat in tune or their pantomime delivery which, when combined with the music, made tonight feel like the wedding from hell.

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